Manage your own stress.
Not only are you setting an example, there’s just no way to stop your children from sensing your stress and being affected by it. Try to be self-aware. Set aside time for yourself. Create code words that your partner and friends can use to let you know when you are starting to act snippy. Practice self-care. Get enough sleep. 

As much as possible, keep routines the same.
Kids do best when routines are predictable — and healthy. This is particularly true for sleep. As tempting as it may be to let kids stay up late and sleep late throughout the holidays, try to stay within an hour of usual times, except for special occasions. We all do better when we stick to our sleep routines. Same goes for mealtimes. 

Manage expectations.
Kids get incredibly excited for Christmas, expecting incredibly hard-to-find presents, spending every day doing activities, preferably with friends — and not meeting these expectations might make them sad — and is very preventable. Up front, let kids know what they can and can’t expect. You don’t have to give away the surprise, but you could, as a family, say that everyone gets one big but not break-the-bank gift (and otherwise set parameters on gifts). And you can sit together, look at the calendar, and let your kids know what you can and cannot pull off when it comes to vacation activities. 

Keep kids active.
Sitting in front of the TV (or a gaming console or an iPad or phone) all day isn’t good for anyone, and exercise is a known stress-buster. Go outside. Go to the park. Take advantage of free swim time at the local Y. Go for walks together. Play music and dance.

Spend some time together.
Going to the movies or having a family movie night is fine, but try to do things that involve actual interaction. Play games together. Visit a museum together. Bake cookies. 

Build some family holiday rituals, if you don’t have them already.
Whether it’s holiday baking, or making homemade gifts together, or a particular concert you always attend, or some friends you invite every year, create things you can do together every year that are meaningful and fun. There are plenty of things you have to do. Make your family rituals things you want to do.

Choose something to do as a family that helps others.
Choose toys for a toy drive. Go through clothes in the closet and bring gently used ones to a shelter or clothing drive. Donating money to causes is always great, but look for things that your children can actively participate in, preferably that you can do as a family. Try not to think of it as another family chore. Instead, think of it as a way to not only teach kindness, but to keep perspective on the holidays — and on what’s way more important than presents or parties.

Claire McCarthy, MD, Senior Faculty Editor, Harvard Health Publishing